“If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.”

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.”

You know something bad is about to happen when someone says, “Hold my beer and watch this!”

“A beer doesn’t have to be difficult to acquire, but damned if that doesn’t make everything taste better.”

“It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.”

“Thanks liver… you are a champ!”