You know something bad is about to happen when someone says, “Hold my beer and watch this!”

“A day without beer is like a year without summer.”

“A beer doesn’t have to be difficult to acquire, but damned if that doesn’t make everything taste better.”

“The robot will take the place which slave labour occupied in ancient civilization…freeing mankind to pursue its higher aspirations.”

“Beer is my coffee.”

“I propose to send a message from Pikes Peak to Paris, France.”

“I foresee that in times not too distant, wars between various countries will be carried on without a single combatant passing the border.”

“You mustn’t mind the tree monsters. Their bark is worse than their bite. Ha ha ha ha!”

“Thanks liver… you are a champ!”

“When the waitress puts the dinner on the table, the old men look at the dinner. The young men look at the waitress.”